Thursday, July 27, 2006

Hey Mr. Stone...phone moi!

I have decided that daylilies are part of an insidious alien plot to take over the planet. And I'm not just saying that because I despise having to pull them out of my "flower bed" (code for the enormous, semi-planted, steep-as-heck hill in my back yard). No. It's not that. It's because they spread. Left unchecked (which is to say, relatively near any medium which might accidentally promote growth...like coffee grinds or...mushy newspapers or...you know, the planet), they would take over everything. From space, the Earth would look like a big ball of long, gangly green leaves.

...which is why I think it's an alien plot. I suspect that we are, at this moment, living on a gianormous alien Chia Pet...situated happily on a windowsill near the sun. The seeds have been planted and watered...and some geeked-out alien CEO is just waiting for that Chia-magic to happen.

So if someone offers to give you daylilies because they're "thinning out their bed"...thank them politely and then run away very, very fast...because clearly they're in cahoots with the aliens.

Remember, kids...it's up to you to stop the Earth from sporting an intergalactic Chia-fro!

2 comments:

towwas said...

But...daylilies are pretty! And deer love 'em.

miss shirley said...

Kudzu, also alien in form and strength. Beware the kudzu.