Heat

It didn't occur to me until now, but we're two days from the summer solstice...the longest day. No wonder I've been restless...so much day and so little night...and thick heat wrapped around me like old itchy wool...

I wrote this in an email just a bit ago...and then realized I needed it somewhere more permanent than my outbox... I'm putting it here for safekeeping.

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I said I wanted a hot summer...but as I sit here sweltering in my tiny upstairs office at the dawn of night I wonder if that's true. My blood's too thick for this still...I haven't acclimated...haven't given in to the heat all around me. It's only june and I'm wondering about October's brilliant sun and cool mornings...the peculiar angles of the light in fall...I'm trying for mindfulness. Stay in the here...in the now...in the wake of the tempest and the sear of heat and glint of sweat and fervor of feeling... I know what to do...I know to take this in...soak this up...swell like a sponge with the experience of it...all of it...good and bad......maybe I am.

I have to write it to remember though. It's too hard to catch if it's not pinned down...or is that penned down?...no matter... it flits and flutters and flies away if I don't ram its wriggling self into words that I can come back to.

I just don't want to lose this heat.