A Little Christmas

There's no real disguising the fact that this Christmas had the potential to be something significantly less than Christmassy. But even amid the strangeness, Christmas found its way into my being...and sat there glowing quietly while I struggled to feel anything in particular for it. Christmas is good that way...it's patient until you come around to its way of looking at things.

But there were a few moments in particular that reminded me of Christmas -- the real Christmas, I mean, not all the nonsense it's come to connote -- and I want to keep them here so I can remember...

There was a moment at my parents' house. My Dad is completely enamoured of his grandson and loves the concept of "Grampi Treats" (which has morphed over time from Rice Krispie Treats to, most recently, Little Debbies). So he offered the Monkeyboy a choice between 3 kinds of Grampi Treats after dinner one night: a chocolate Christmas Tree, a white Christmas Tree, or a two-pack of, um, Christmas-speckled white-iced hexagons. The Monkeyboy considered carefully and then chose the two pack. My family immediately exchanged knowing looks with each other (subtext: well, of course he went for the two-pack; he's no fool). When I got them open and handed him the package, he took out the first one and handed it to my Dad "Here, Grampi...this one's for you." And that's Christmas, isn't it?

Then there was the happy and spontaneous occasion to share a bottle of wine with a good friend...there was conversation and laughter and an utter lack of scotch tape for my last minute Santa duties, but we made do. Not being alone for those hours would have been sufficient, but the fact that i could spend time with someone who made me feel connected and comfortable...well, that might have been the nicest gift I got this Christmas. Sometimes, there aren't enough thank you's...

And even yesterday amid the rain and the gloom and the physical aloneness of the day, I had the chance to chat a bit with a few friends and spend good time with the Monkeyboy (including a highly rare but much needed nap)...and I kept three candles and the tree lit all day. There was no pomp...no turkey...no monumental ceremony... Just a nice little day to be reminded in little ways how thankful I am for this little life of mine...for the lives that touch mine and for those that I have been allowed to touch...at least a little.

***

I would like to point out, in my own defense and for the edification of anyone who might be reading this, that my sister (not me) coined the spelling of "Grampi"...because, you see, it goes with "Grammi," which (I kid you not) she argued is how her dogs know my mother...so when I announced that I was spawning, she announced that my mother had to be called Grammi by my progeny or else it would confuse her animals.

...I didn't even bother raising a weapon. It wasn't a battle worth fighting...nor was the cheesy spelling. I stop short of dotting it with a heart, though, dammit.