Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mysterious Ways

Last Friday started off with some news at work that upset me on a personal level.  I'd had a frustrating week anyway, so I wasn't really ready for what I heard.  It knocked the wind out of me.  I started questioning myself...the work I was doing...everything.  I don't often let slip tears at the office, but this one got to me....and worse still, I couldn't even do anything about it for ten days.  Powerlessness and frustration!

So I handled it, as I am prone to do, by cleaning.  I sorted out my office, cleaned off my desk, filed things that were long overdue.  I took care of a few nitpicky things that had been hanging over my head, and then went to lunch with a friend.  Not only did we have a fabulous conversation, but I got a bit of counterbalancing news from her.  By 1:00, I was feeling 90% better.

As a result of that Friday frenzy and the clutching-at-sanity organizing I did, this week has been amazingly calm and relaxed.  I've gone from one task to the next with a sense of forward motion and relative control and have been mightily productive.  And, tonight, I finally had the opportunity to follow up on last week's news and it turns out it was nothing but rumor and speculation!  

I can officially breathe again!

When it's all said and done, I'm generally pretty ok with not knowing all the hows and whys of the mysterious ways in which things work in this life.  I'm perfectly content hanging on to some basics:  The world is round.  It spins on an axis.  Gravity generally pulls us in a downward direction.  Fire: bad.  Tree: pretty.  Amen.

Now if only I could learn to remember, in the heat of the moment when things go wonky and oblong and floaty, that I don't have to let the emotion of the moment get the better of me and make me doubt myself.  Maybe that's what I'll think about next time I'm organizing something...

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