Spring

The (beautiful!) tree in my back yard has bloomed again this year, filling the neighborhood with the heady aroma of flowers.  I've just spent the evening cleaning the house and getting a jump start on laundry so that I can do some yard work this weekend.  I have lofty plans for a total front-of-house clean up that includes mulching the front bushes, but I may be overestimating the amount I can actually accomplish.  I'm still going to try!

Spring is here...and so returns my motivation.

Most notably, I've decided to do a little interior house keeping on my longest-neglected space:  my body.  I've been decaffeinated for almost a week now (and the ensuing detox-headache has almost gone away...almost) and I'm returning to an emphasis on whole, raw foods.  After a week of sleeping long and hard, I finally got some semblance of energy back tonight.  Hello, productivity!

The complicating factor of spring (certainly this spring, but I suspect it hits me every spring) is the undercurrent of unrest in the transition between a winter of dormancy and the unbridled growth of summer.  I feel a little disheveled...like I'm not sure really where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be doing.  School is going incredibly well (bonus!)....work is moving forward at some regular pace, though its very different (and not quite as inspiring as my last job)....my happy heart is lodged approximately 2,432 miles away from here....and despite having to write a plan for how I intend to get there, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

And 40 is a mere five weeks away.  Yipe!

I'm all square pegs and round holes right now.  It's an uncomfortable state, but not entirely unpleasant....and I'm reminding myself to just relax through it and let the discomfort -- and the growth that I'm trusting will arise from it -- just happen.  Meanwhile...while I'm doing my deep let-it-be breathing....I think I'll stare at my tree in the back yard and remind myself how really great things can happen in the spring.