I think the art of suggestion is slowly being lost. There is no subtlety anymore...everything is right out there. Maybe it's the internet. I mean, I'm shocked these days if I have a conversation with someone that I haven't "met" online first... Any more, by the time I meet a person, they know a considerable amount about me and my life...they have an image formed of me already, so the face-to-face is just to confirm (or, in rarer cases -- since I strive for "truth in advertising" -- to refute) that image.
Not that I'm complaining, exactly... I rather prefer that people know who I am prior to making that surface value judgment. (And, I should point out, that preference is not just because I'm secretly terrified that the surface evaluation will send my new friend running in horror) I generally believe that the insides of people are the more fascinating bits. "Pretty" and "handsome" (or, in MySpaceSpeak, "hot") are transient things...but "interesting" has some staying power...so that seems like the cooler thing to be in the long run.
But wait...none of that was the premise. What was I talking about? Oh...right...subtlety...
So the art of the subtle is slowly being evolved out of existence... Where we used to wonder about a person's background, now we can read an encapsulated profile before we say hello... Where once it took a couple of dinners to ask someone to bed, now there is this perceived freedom to make that suggestion on the first chat... Where once I gave a standard Twister set and a bottle of baby oil as a gag gift, now there's this: the next best thing.
Oh subtlety, where art thou!
***
Heh. :)
5 comments:
For what it's worth, *I* didn't know anything about you before we were friends and I like you. This is precisely what weirds me out about meeting people online. I'm really different in writing and in person. I think. My writing is a lot more put together. At least, my professional writing. This comment, not so much.
Mmm...yeah, my writing is pretty much just as random as I am. So at least there aren't surprises that way!
I'm monkey-bound all weekend, so if you feel a need for a MTVH break, call me! :)
And, yknow, I don't think that reading what someone writes about their life really tells you that much about what they're like as a human experience, day after day. I remember several years ago having an extended e-mail conversation with a high school friend I'd lost touch with. The e-mail was fascinating. Then we actually talked on the phone, and...dull as anything. The dude couldn't carry on a conversation.
...perzactly. And that is why phone conversations are part of my screening process before I actually agree to meet any dudes from the internet. :) I figure if we can't talk on the phone, there's no way we're going to have fun in person.
And then you still don't know if he'll turn out to smell funny. I still think I like the traditional order of operations: smell -> conversation -> inner life.
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